The Rich Young Ruler appears to have it all, but he comes to Jesus searching for answers to life (Matthew 19:16-22; Mark 10:17-22; Luke 18:18-23). Notice Jesus is not searching this young man out to tell him what to do; rather he makes himself available to the young man and honestly answers his questions. Jesus has created space for radical honesty. This young man even disagrees with Jesus (which never turns out well) and Jesus lets him disagree, but all the while he loves him.

“So what?” Fair question. Let’s think about this in terms of engaging people who are different from us, specifically members of the over-hyped “Millennial” generation. Many church leaders are intimidated, disenchanted or confused about how to connect them with other generations. Of course this has been a common response to younger generations over the course of human history. (Were the Baby Boomers willingly embraced by the G.I. generation after that whole sixties experiment?) But all people, and all kinds of people, want to be known and loved—and Jesus alone offers us this rich reality.

How can we engage with people who are different from us—across gaps of generations, cultures, social standing, economic status? How can we help them engage with Scripture? Like Jesus, we can provide safe opportunities for people to be honest with their questions, doubts, fears and desires. We can ask them, “What do you want?” Knowing what someone wants reveals vital information that can give us the platform for genuine engagement because it tells us who they are.

As any Bible study leader knows, it is hard work drawing out the depths of the heart (Proverbs 20:5), but from it is the wellspring of life (Proverbs 4:23). When Millennials have freedom to disagree they feel safe to understand and reveal their inner selves. In order to facilitate this process, we should be ready to grapple with their heart-felt questions, even if we don’t have ready-made answers. And let’s also make sure the questions are their questions, not our questions put in their mouths.

Scholars are uncertain of who this rich young ruler is. I like to think he is Joseph of Arimathea, the well-respected and wealthy Jewish man who purchased Jesus’s tomb (Mark 15:42-47 GNT) . And here is why: the Rich Young Ruler goes away sad, desperate, in despair at Jesus’ answer. How would we know this unless his emotions were later revealed by himself? If that is the case, it is an example of what safe conflict produces in the long run, as Joseph eventually recognized Jesus as the answer to his questions about eternal life.

Look at the life of Jesus and you see conflict all over the place. He allows people to be fully honest with him—with questions, doubts, even disagreements. Because Jesus is truth, he is perfectly comfortable being challenged. Christians have the truth. In fact, they know Truth. Why, then, are so many of us uncomfortable with questions, push-back and disagreement? When we create environments where conversation is fostered, people begin to think. As C. S. Lewis says, thinking is always good because any real thinking ultimately leads us back to God. Young people always love to think, and talk, and disagree. Wouldn’t we want them to let us be part of these conversations?

Our Millennial brothers and sisters have great thoughts for us, which the Lord may use to shape our thinking, believing and action. They also have some crazy thoughts that need to be addressed, challenged and considered. But these conversations will not take place until we become the kind of people who look to engage “the other”—whoever that is for you.

We need more people willing to help every generation engage with Scripture by creating opportunities for honest discussion. We won’t always agree, but there is potential for eternal change in the midst of that disagreement.